88 Films DVD Review: The Corpse Grinders (dir: Ted V. Mikels, 1971)

"They Went in People and Came Out Hamburger!"

It is I once again! Got some more devilishly delightful treats from the good folks over at 88 Films. This time however, it's not cheesy Full Moon fare but the schlocky goodness of the maestro himself, Ted V. Mikels. I have to confess and potentially put my Psychotronic Film Club membership card on the line here and say, I had never seen a Ted V. Mikels production until the films I am about to review in these next posts. I know, I know, shame on me. As much as I love exploitation cinema, films like this from filmmakers like H. G. Lewis and Mikels from the late 60's to early 70's just don't appeal to me. They can be too campy even for me but hey, some people don't like biker movies and some people don't like comic book adaptations... Each to their own. I was very apprehensive about Corpse Grinders based off the trailer and various clips of other Mikels productions but... as a lover of cinema, you have to be open minded! 

"Human bodies are fed into a bone crunching meat grinder, mashed into a bloody pulp, poured into cans and shipped out to market as Lotus Cat Food. Unsuspecting pet owners are being attacked and killed by felines driven into blood lust by their newly acquired taste for human flesh. The corpse-grinding cat food moguls have been running low on dead bodies and are on the lookout for fresh meat. Enter Angie, a nubile young nurse whose cat is acting up after eating out of Lotus cans. Angie comes to the factory looking for answers and is abruptly taken to the blood-soaked conveyor belt that feeds the insatiable grinder."

Overall, I enjoyed Corpse Grinders. It was a fun little schlock-tastic (if that wasn't a word already, it is now!) horror comedy. Sure both the horror and the comedy were lacking but I did chuckle and the meat grinding scenes actually worked sometimes. The whole concept of cats going bat shit (or should that be cat shit?) insane amuses me no end. I love cats, so seeing them kick some human ass was quite satisfying. I want to wrestle with cats... NOW! It's a really simple concept with some neat touches and you can tell that it was a fun, laid back shoot to be involved with. The acting wasn't great even by B-movie standards but there's a lot worse out there and it just adds to the all round charm. Needless to say, my first experience with Ted was a fun one. The 75 minute run time was just right and I am so glad they didn't try and pad it out to 90 minutes (hate indie directors doing that nowadays). It's a fine example of a drive-in movie.

88 Films have done a stellar job with this release. The print of the film itself is murky and fuzzy in places but to neaten a film like this too much would just completely take away from it. The sound levels are a little bit to be desired but this was a low budget production from 1971 so it would be harsh to harp on about it. Special features include one of the calmest and laid back director's commentaries I have ever heard which was nice, it was like your granddad talking about his film making days. You also get a small interview with Ted talking about the film and of course the usual trailers. I did genuinely love the menu artwork on the disc, very nice presentation all round, you also get reversible artwork which always makes me smile. Overall, if you are a fan of schlock, then you can do much worse than this release!

You can check out the 88 Films page for the film here, the IMDB page here and of course purchase the film itself from Amazon UK.

PDx

88 Films DVD Reviews: Bad Channels (1993) & Arcade (1992)

Received more titles from the good folks over at 88 Films sent me over a batch of some of their March releases included the two titles I am reviewing now. I have decided to include them in one review because they are both Full Moon goodness (well, depends what you personally think of THAT type of cinema I guess). Both films are from the early 90's so expect a lot of 80's hangover in terms of style and a certain person's fantastic hair (more later). Anyways, this is a very tedious introduction that isn't tad or bodacious at all.

Bad Channels

"Killer Music! Alien Airwaves!"

At this point, I would copy and paste 88 Film's synopsis but at the time of the review, they have the Arcade write up there so I'm going to have to summarise this one myself.... What do you mean I'm a lazy bum of a human!? Basically the story revolves around our main character a shock-jock by the name of Dan O'Dare. Whilst doing his show one night, his radio station is invaded by a couple of outrageously campy aliens and yeah, it's your typical "can the crazy hero guy save the day" sort of thing and.... To be honest, this was not my thing at all, so ignore me if it sounds like I'm a film snob (at least I'm not like Cinemaphile who gave this is a 0/4 and bitched).

Is it by any means a generally bad movie? Yes! It's cheesy fun that just lacked... the fun part but I will say that if you do like your overly camp cheesefests, then I think the majority of you will enjoy it. I loved the alien costume and the special effects, that side I found very charming and I really enjoyed the musical sequences. The film's score was actually written by Blue Oyster Cult. If you want to shut your brain off for 90 minutes then give this one a go. It's not one of Full Moon's greatest films but I can see some people really digging it.

Once again, props to 88 Films for giving this a release. I'm not too sure what other discs are available so I can't really comment but you do get the typical special features with this including a making of and trailers. The transfer is good and the artwork is really nice so if you haven't seen this or you are a fan of Full Moon I would suggest picking it up. The disc will be released on the 17th March and at £7, go for it.

Check out the Wikipedia, IMDB and the 88 Films page for more information. Pre order and buying link is here, obviously...

ARCADE

"The game wants to play with you."

"All the kids in town are dying to play the hot new video game ARCADE. Trouble is once you play the game you can kiss reality good-bye. Arcade has seven levels of excitement, adventure and terror for its players. The game transports you to another world with its stunning graphics, thrilling sound effects, and virtual reality simulation. It is the ultimate experience in a video game.  But excitement like this doesn’t come cheaply - when you battle with ARCADE you’re putting your life on the line.  The kids have accepted the challenge and are absorbed into the game. Only Alex (Megan Ward) realises that their mysterious disappearances are linked to ARCADE. She must battle the game, alone.  Too bad she’s never been very good at games…"

Things pick up a tad with this title. For it's time, this shit was cutting edge and now it's something the Gravity snobs would laugh at. Yes, I am talking about Seth Green's hair. The computer stuff is pretty nifty too by the way. I could imagine this film resonating with bible thumping church goers who genuinely think that video games are turning our children in to mindless thugs. I enjoyed this one, the story was straight forward, the characters were fun and the computer generated worlds and sequences in general were awesome. There were actually some genuinely dark moments in there too which I won't spoil because this is the film out of the two I would urge you guys to check out... Yes, even just for Seth's fantastic do!

I'm glad I got to watch this flick, don't let the dull two or so minute credit sequence put you off because just it gets better. Features are essentially the same as Arcade and similar Full Moon titles by 88 Films. The making of did give me a chuckle when they were talking about how there are points were the audience won't be able to tell what's computer generated or not... Sorry bud, my eyes aren't that bad yet. 

Check out the Wikipedia, IMDB and the 88 Films pages and of course pre-order/ buy here.

PDx

88 Films DVD Review: Doctor Mordrid (1992, Charles & Albert Band)

"Man Has Ancient Enemies..."

Following on from yesterday's post we are looking at the second title 88 Films were kind enough to send for review. This time we are looking at the Band father and son co directed film, Doctor Mordrid from 1992. Once again, to spare my readers with an inept attempt at giving you the synopsis, I will lazily copy and paste the information from the 88 Films page:

"Doctor Mordrid (JEFFERY COMBS; “Re-Animator”, “From Beyond”) has been  guarding the gates to the fourth dimension for over a century and now the signs are clear; his eternal foe, Kabal (BRIAN THOMPSON; “Cobra”, “Terminator”) has crossed over and is about to carry out his threat to destroy humankind.

It’s a battle between two sorcerers with boundless powers and only one man will reign in the end."

See, I'm not too much of a lazy bum, I changed the font and everything? Shall we just move on and find out what I thought of the film?

The story is the typical "Evil has been defeated and one man is in charge of making sure Earth is safe until shit goes down and our hero must once again banish the bad guy back to the pits wherever he was banished to" one we all know and love. You aren't going to have your mind blown with the story and how it unfolds but that's not always a bad thing because why fix something that isn't broken right? I have to say I did enjoy this piece of schlock but have seen this sort of film done a lot better but also done a Hell of a lot worse. The stand out performance for me is genre icon Jeffrey Combs who is great as our protagonist. That's not to say everyone else doesn't put in a good performance, Brian Thompson is great to behold as he mostly always is and the love interest played by Yvette Nipar is solid too. All round, very well acted and doesn't dive too much in to the overly campy territory films like this usually do.

Once again, the star of the show for me is Steve Allen's fantastic stop motion animation. Just like Robot Wars, the main visual spectacle just didn't seem long enough but the miniature work was terrific. I have a real soft spot for miniature work, it's a shame computers have wrecked that for most motion pictures. I know, I'm a sucker for that sort of stuff but it genuinely fascinates me, especially when it's done like this. Aside from that, the rest of the effects are great too. 

Overall, Mordrid is a solid film but just lacks something, maybe a slightly bigger budget. In terms of cheesy sci-fi action, there's enough there for you to keep interested and if you're a fan of Jeffrey Combs you will definitely get a kick out of it. Just like the Robot Wars disc, you get a nice making of featurette, a trailer for Mordrid and various trailers for other titles (that are from what I gather the same as Robot Wars). You get some nice reversible art too which always a nice touch. 88 Films have done another good job but I would say, if you already own this title, you may want to swerve this release but if you are a fan or have never seen the film before, it's a good way to experience the film.

For more information on this film and release check out the 88 Films page. You can also find out more over on the IMDB and Wikipedia pages. 

The film will be released on the 17th February and can be pre-ordered HERE.

PDx

88 Films DVD Review: Robot Wars (1993, Albert Band)

"First there was ROBOT JOX..."

 It feels good to get back in to the groove of actually reviewing stuff up on the blog for a change. The kind folks at 88 Films sent me a few discs recently. The first of the trio of titles I am going to be looking at over these next few days is the 1993 Albert Band directed, Robot Wars. When I was quickly skipping through the titles when I first received them, this flick looked so fantastically bad that I had to watch it first. What did I think of this robotic romp in the desert? Well let me tell you bub!

Basically all you need to know about the actual story is this synopsis taken from the 88 Films website itself:

"Toward the end of the 21st Century two great powers dominated the world, a division that resulted from a 30-year war known as the War of the Hemispheres. The war came to an end with the creation of giant, indestructible mega-robots, the MRAS-2, designed for military missions and balance of power.

 Recently, the mega-robot has become a tourist attraction and is used for tours through the wasteland. While on one such tour, the MRAS-2 is attacked by an extremely violent terrorist group known as the Murdaggians. Their leader turns out to be a frequent passenger on the mega-robot, Professor B. Wa-Lee, who hijacks the MRAS-2. The only hope to stop the Murdaggians is Lane Drury, the robot's pilot. But can he do it in time..."

Yeah, that's a bit of a cop out me literally copying and pasting but it sums up the film much better than I could and lets face it, you don't really watch this sort of cheese for the story.... Right? Guys? Where are you going!?

The biggest draw to this film is obviously the giant robots kicking the living crap (or the robotic equivalent) out of each other. The practical effects and the stop motion in this film are fantastic. Sure, elitists will laugh and mock but you know what? There's actual hard work gone in to these effects, and I have the say the jerky stop motion movement of the robots is downright creepy but that's just me. Watching the making of included in the disc, it's great to see how it was all put together. Now as much as I loved these scenes, I do have a big problem... WE NEEDED MORE!!!! I could have spent the whole film focused on these action sequences because I loved them.

The characters in the film itself are likable (which is actually never a problem with me in films... sometimes directors don't want you to always get to know the character properly you know). I especially loved Don Michael Paul who was cheesy, funny and all round the star of the show. His interactions with Barbara Crampton were funny and cringe worthy but again, what do you expect from a Full Moon sci-fi flick from the 90's? Speaking of Barbara Crampton (...and cheesy 90's Full Moon sci-fi), unfortunately for you sleazehounds out there, there's no boobage on show... it is a PG rated film you know, sickos. Why that would ever be a problem for some of my viewers... I... erm... will never know.

Overall, the film itself was enjoyable but I am genuinely disappointed that there wasn't more emphasis on the robots battling. In terms of special features you do get the making of which is worth a watch especially if you want to learn about the special effects. You also get a trailer as well as 10 other trailers for other 88 Films titles which is a nice treat because I do appreciate a good trailer (although I don't think I will be purchasing any of Charles's lack luster trailer compilations). You also get reversible artwork which is always nice. For the price, it's a nice little investment but I wouldn't say it's for everybody. 88 Films have done another nice job with this one.

If you want to know more about this film head on over to the 88 Films page, IMDB and Wikipedia pages. The film will be released on the 17th of February and can be ordered here.

Hopefully you will join me for the next review...
You know what? If you don't, I'm going to get my giant kick ass robot scorpion!

PDx

Mandroid (1993)

"It's Power is in Your Hands!"

Recently on the blog we have been watching some classic examples of slapstick cheese courtesy of the kind folks at 88 Films and Full Moon Entertainment. Don't worry, that will keep coming by the bucket load but today we are looking a film that isn't played for laughs but it's just as cheesetastic and just as enjoyable. Strap on your headsets because we are looking at:

Mandroid is a 1993 flick directed by a Swedish guy named Jack Esgard, set in Russia, shot in Romania and boasts a predominantly American cast. Yeah, that's a whole load of factors right there! Deep in a hidden lab a professor has created Manborg, a thought controlled humanoid for the good of mankind and science. Unfortunately for him his partner wants to sell the droid to the military because boy is this a killing machine in the making. He steals it but gets horrifically disfigured in the process but that doesn't stop him... Oh hell no! There's a whole lot of awesome you can expect with this one ladies and gents including a mask wearing psycho, an unstopable killing machine and... a man who is slwoly becoming invisible?

It's another simple tale of greed and power tokd brilliantly. Yeah, it's cheesy as hell but that's why we watch these films right? You can marvel at how badass the mandroid is. You can squirm at the site of our disfigured supervillain and you can be on the floor in stitches at the hilariously bad Russian accents. Yeah it's one of those early 90's action flicks that are hilarious for all the wrong reasons. Bad stereotype accents (thank the fuhrer this isn't set in ze Germany!) aside, it's a well acted romp that will keep your attention throughout.

Overall, I would suggest you give it a try. I enjoyed it but wouldn't say it was as entertaining as the campy schlock I have reviewed over the past couple of days. If you love your early 90's so bad it's good action then this is a great film for you to sink your rusty little teeth into. For those of you aware with the fantastically crap budget DVD label here in the UK called Hollywood DVD... Yeah it's a film that you would expect to see on one of their amazing multipacks. However, this isn't just a throw away pickup to fill up a space in your collection!

88 Films have done another brilliant job with this release and comes with the added extras you come to expect. The short film this time however is in the form of a behind the scenes/ making of feature which I am guessing was take from a TV show or something? I don't know but it is a nice extra as you never really see a making of or behind the scenes feature for a film like this. I enjoyed it for what it was and the 81 minute runtime flew by. Oh by the way, I mentioned an invisible man earlier right? Well, you have to watch the follow up film to this to see where that one goes. I think I will have to invest my time into that one... If I do... I will let you know!

PDx

Dr. Alien (1989)

"She has the cure for growing pains..."
There comes a time in every boys life where they experience the problem this piece of educational film making covers. That moment where all of a sudden your hormones, the testosterone completely takes over and next thing you know, you are beating the women off left right and centre. OK that is completely bullshit and that has nothing to do with this film but I needed your attention. Sit down and shut up because class is in session!

Dr. Alien is another film by prolific cheese director David DeCoteau from 1989. What we have in this fine effort is a teen comedy in which a socially awkward, intelligent teenage boy gets wrapped up in an intergalactic breeding plot when his biology teacher has an accident and his replacement is a stunner of an alien (would a female alien technically be called alienne?) who is trying to secure the future of her planet. The experiment makes our likable lead become a pussy magnet with a rather nasty looking fleshy antenna on his head.... so damn hot! As he's beating the women off with a stick (not literally, it's not one of those movies... sicko!) his heart is for one girl only and boy is she a cutie! No big twists or turns in this one folks!



Because I am good to you sleazehounds out there, let's get the main reason you are going to buy this film out of the way first, the women! Oh yes gentlemen (and ladies of course) we have a fine display of treats on offer! The big names I was glad to see where of course Linnea Quigley and even better, Ginger Lynne! Of course I have to mention Judy Landers who plays our teacher and last but by no means least, my personal favourite of the film, Olivia Barash who plays as the adorable love interest. Of course this film is littered in pure, unadulterated female nudity so if that's your thing then this a perfect film for you!

This film has more than just eye candy though. Our main guy is a genuinely likable chap even when he lets his new found sex appeal get to his head (literally... I'm hilarious!). You genuinely root for him when he gets mobbed by gangs of nubile young things and you want him to get the girl at the same time. It's a genuinely funny film which like most films of this type and era, don't take themselves too seriously. There is a never a dull moment and that's what I really enjoyed most about this one, especially when you look at modern teen comedies which are just crude, unfunny pieces of crap.

The story is nice and simple and the characters are all a joy to watch. You get a real sense that this was a fun film to make and there's something about films from the 80's in high schools and colleges that just appeal to me. The film has many memorable moments including the various dreams our stud has, the awesome gig scene towards the end of the film, a rather fun scene that involves a mobbing in the girls showers and a great climax. Of course, the film is littered with gems and it would do a great injustice to just tell you and not experience it for yourself.

Overall I highly recommend this film to anyone who loves a good cheesy ride... and of course bodacious boobs by the spacecraft load. If you are looking for that outlandish strong stinking bishop style cheese however, you might not fully get that experience but I'm sure you connoisseurs out there know this already. Once again 88 Films have put a great package with the trailers, reversible artwork and of course the bonus film which in this case is a rather interesting oddity from the early 1970's called Auditions which is kinda like a 70's version of a porno casting couch video... only the wannabe stars don't get humiliated by the redneck behind the camera!

Had to end on a high note!

PDx